Simon Kettlewell – Eternity Leave

‘Eternity Leave’ by Simon Kettlewell is a funny, brave and heartfelt memoir of a dad being the ‘stay at home’ parent. A book that I devoured right from page one.

FOUR CHILDREN. ONE MAN. HOW HARD CAN IT BE?…

Dear Chloe, Emma, Ruby, and Ollie,
‘I am applying for the position you haven’t advertised, has no specific job description and no hope of fiscal reward. I am applying because I have this misguided belief that it will look like it does on the cover photo of ‘The Complete Guide to Childcare’ where everyone appears relaxed and bright-eyed, not knackered, irascible or covered in snot.

Armed with a pristine copy of ‘The Complete Guide to Childcare’, ambitions to be the next literary giant and live off the grid, what could possibly go wrong?

‘Five minutes after Brigit’s maternity leave ended I realised the magnitude of my error. I was now the sole carer for two six-month-old children who thought the hands smearing yoghurt over their faces belonged to somebody else, and a two-year-old who walked for five steps and decided it wasn’t for her.’

I crashed into a world of mainly strong, resourceful, resilient women, a mountain of nappies to rival Kilimanjaro and a widening gap where my self-esteem used to reside.’
I am a man. I soon discovered this was not an excuse…’

We follow Brigit’s husband and Chloe, Emma, Ruby and Ollie’s dad as he takes over the role of caring for the children while Brigit pursues her high pressure and high profile job within the NHS. He plans to be the main carer while attempting to become a successful novelist. Well, I have been the main carer for my three kids and I knew what he would be up against…and the novelist may have to wait. Armed with his guides to childcare books he optimistically almost marches into this situation, until he wishes he could reverse very, very slowly!

I found myself laughing with him as well as feeling rather thoughtful. A thought-provoking read that does highlight assumptions that are still made to this day.

As the story unfolds we see Dad beginning to grasp the coping mechanisms parents reading this book will easily recognise, while still managing to be too harsh on himself at times. This is not a fairytale view of parenthood, Simon Kettlewood has taken the gloves off and given us the warts and all view. Dad dealing with doctors who don’t get the idea of the male stay at home dad, the Parent and toddler groups where it is mainly women. Simon deals with it all in a raw and honest way.

His characters are incredibly well detailed, vivid and also developed well as we go through the story. This really made the story real for me along with the situations too. As the story comes to an end I found it a fitting and satisfying conclusion.

Thanks to Anne Cater of Random Things Tours and Simon Kettlewell for the copy of Eternity Leave.